God's Boxers

B-KO

After graduating from college with a degree in Buddhist Studies, B-ko bummed around New York City for a year. One day, P-ko happened to see his old college buddy dropping his pants for pennies and decided to help him out. B-ko moved in with P-ko. P-ko even got B-ko a job at his company. Then, B-ko fucked it all up.

Likes: P-ko's bed, P-ko's food, P-ko's DVDs. Dislikes: Mornings, Work, Responsibility, Pants.

P-KO

P-ko is the true protagonist of God's Boxers. He's got a job at a company that makes cartoons, a cute Asian girlfriend, and a Space: Above & Beyond boxset. He's generally a happy guy -- that is until he comes home to find B-ko masturbating on his bed. P-ko spends his weeknights writing movie scripts and weekends training pitbulls to eat B-ko.

Likes: Screenwriting, Cartoons, Hockey. Dislikes: Scientology, Webcomics, B-ko.

M-KO

M-ko is B-ko's girlfriend in the sense that she's a girl and also his friend. While B-ko wants desperately to have relations with the girl, she shoots down his every advance -- but still allows him to pay for dinner and dancing. When M-ko told B-ko he wasn't making enough at work, he quit the next day. She's responsible for this mess. Oh, she's unemployed.

Likes: Expensive clothes, Fancy restaurants. Dislikes: Paying with her own money.

E-KO

E-ko's a girl from Ohio who wants to make it in New York as a chef who -- for some reason -- took a liking to B-ko. While B-ko perpetually proclaims his love for M-ko, he screws E-ko on a semi-nightly basis. E-ko's a sweet girl, and it's sad to see her with B-ko. Why'd she fall for him? She has several clinically diagnosed mental problems.

Likes: Cooking, Cleaning, Waiting for B-ko to call. Dislikes: Taking her pills.

Z-KO

Z-ko's a fat, smelly anime fan P-ko knew in college. Z-ko really admires P-ko because P-ko never told Z-ko to get bent. Because of this, Z-ko calls P-ko every week to update him on the newest additions to his child porn collection. Every week, P-ko promptly hangs up. Should Z-ko ever come within 50 feet of Chibi-ko, P-ko will snap Z-ko's neck.

Likes: Hentai, Nurses, Maids, Catholic school uniforms. Dislikes: Girls over the age of 18.

CHIBI-KO

Chibi-ko is P-ko's girlfriend. She's a cute Asian girl who looks twelve-years-old. But she's not. She's legal. Really. Despite being cute as a really cute button, Chibi-ko's the violent type and is also into the gothic scene and bondage and S&M. She's currently looking for a job in NYC like B-ko. The smart money's on her finding gainful employment before B-ko.

Likes: Penguins, Vampires, Lingerie. Dislikes: Chipmunks, Tofu, B-ko.

SOP-KO

Remember SPACE: Above & Beyond? No? Well, Sop-ko loves the thing. So does P-ko. In fact, their friendship revolves around the show. They spend long nights watching it together -- and probably touch each other when they do. It should be mentioned that Sop-ko met P-ko in college and is now his co-worker. His story's like B-ko's. Sop-ko, though, didn't fuck it all up.

Likes: Fishing, Hockey, SPACE: Above & Beyond. Dislikes: Communism, B-ko.

BOSS

P-ko's boss. He took a chance hiring P-ko fresh out of college and took another chance when P-ko recommended hiring B-ko and Sop-ko. How'd it work out? The boss loves P-ko and Sop-ko and slips 'em crisp $100 bills whenever they're alone. B-ko is another story. He's gone so far as to buy P-ko five pitbulls to train to tear out B-ko's jugular. Godspeed, P-ko!

Likes: Money, Cheap labor, The Republican Party. Dislikes: Unions, Susan Sarandon, B-ko.

GOD'S BOXERS

P-ko and Sop-ko's band. Yeah, they have a band. They write songs about how much they hate B-ko. While undiscovered in the US, they're a big hit in Europe. P-ko plays the banjo. Sop-ko is a master of the triangle. Are they good? Imagine the best sex you ever had. Got it? God's Boxers is like 1,000 times better. And this is only if that sex was like totally awesome.

LINCOLN MONEY SHOT

A rival band. I think they're Dutch.